Decisions Decisions – Advice please?
I have definitely had an eclectic career. Making me a jack-of-all trades and master of none…which can be either good or bad. I have had interviews but mostly I was referred to the position from someone in the know and had an edge that way. The position I’m in currently is completely new to me – I have applied for three very different positions (Administrator/Director of a non-profit organization, Private High School EFL teacher, Office Helper at a Translating/Patent Attorney’s office) and now have job offers for 3 positions (one I didn’t even apply for – my old company in Tokyo has branched out to this area and wants me to come back) and will do a second interview for the Administrator position tomorrow!
This is a juggling game that I have no experience in and trying to figure out what will be the best for me and for the prospective employers is mind-boggling!! I know I want to be getting work experience in something other than teaching and trying to better my Japanese while I’m here in case we decide to return to the states ever and I want a job (as I’m not a certified teacher in the states and don’t think I would want that career there anyway). However, the teaching jobs here pay quite well and have good vacations so I can possibly go home for a few weeks/year – which, from what I’ve read of other foreign women married to Japanese men and making their life here, could be key to my sanity. Then I have to consider when I want to plan children in all of this. I do want to be with my child until they are at least 3-4 years old and ready to enter pre-school but, depending on our financial situation – would be willing to do a day-care 2-3 days/week to work part-time.
Everyone says I’m young and why worry. But reading about how difficult it is to change careers in your 40’s or thinking about being 67 when my children might actually be having children doesn’t make me feel so young anymore. How to make these decisions!?! Is there anyone else out there who’s been there/done that and has some advice?
I will say that even though this decision time is difficult – especially when we are moving house in a week and I have yet to pack for all the interview preparation/follow up and traveling about to these interviews I’ve been doing in addition to my usual work/Japanese language study schedule – I feel quite lucky to be in a position to have to choose and quite flattered that my old employers have always seemed like they would take me back anytime.
So – for all my friends/family/readers out there – give me your opinion! Been there/done that? Tell me about it here please!! Know my personality and what job you think I would be most happy/successful and it not take over my personal life too? Tell me!! Share your knowledge and do it quick!!
Want to send all my love & gratitude to my coach through this whole process – Heidi, you should be a professional job search consultant – your advice for interviews and correspondence has been invaluable to me! What an insanely intelligent sister I’ve been blessed with!
In many ways I feel similar to you as I’m forever changing. I don’t regret any of the different jobs I’ve done and find they all give me confidence to handle situations. I am now trying real estate, something I’ve never trained in, but my age and the fact that I know myself now makes new things much easier.I’m not worried about chopping and changing because I’m surrounded by people who do the same thing. i think it’s when we compare to people who see settled and on a career path that we feel inferior.
Be proud at how adaptable you are. I think about children and I will have them as soon as I’ve sold a house!
I would have children if I had a job that paid maternity leave, sick days and holiday. It’s funny how these things seem like luxury when you don’t have. I think leaving kids in day care is fine as it’s normal these days. They won’t hate you for it.
lots of love and I understand how tricky things are. Whatever you do is right because you have the best intentions.xxxxx
Well you know non profit are plenty in the us so finding a job here in the future would be easy. I see you in that job, I feel you would be making a difference and meeting very unique people.
Nothing is secure (totally) Just work in a job that you love and one that makes you more than you need so you can save for that baby. Are your husbands parents able to help if you did start baby making?
While on public transportation or at some other free time, let yourself daydream about yourself in each of the situations. If you catch yourself smiling unconsciously, your gut is telling you this situation will make you happy.
Love and prayers
and i’ll talk to st. anthony about helping you find the right job.
I think you need to think about life beyond work honey and do what you know is right in your heart. Stuff doing what is expected of you. Just do what is right for you and your life with Isseki. I know that it is an easy thing to say and a much harder thing to do but don’t follow what you think you are supposed to do because of age,career blah blah. You have never followed what everyone else thinks of doing so why start now? It’s one of the many things that I love about you. You are my star! Rock on!! Now hope that has made you feel betterxxxx
frances – as always you are eloquent and make me feel so much better! i didn’t know you were getting into real estate – best of luck to you!! how’s the marked in cannes? with your personality i think you will be fantastic! let us know when a house sells!
kristen – thanks for the encouragement now and always! i think his parents would always help in anyway they can but the run a hospital of their own right now and still have one child in high school so wouldn’t have much in the way of time to offer.
aunt doris – that is a fantastic idea. an excuse to daydream all weekend (except for the times i’m working)!! 🙂
anouska – thank you!! it did make me feel better! surely things will work out no matter what but sometimes it just seems like such a big decision.
i love & miss you all! thank you for sharing from your respective parts of the globe and positions in life☆
Hi sweet sister! You flatter me so – thanks! I’m just glad I could help you in some way.
It seems you’ve reached that proverbial “fork in the road” – but how nice to have so many options. Everyone has given you such wonderful advice, it’s hard to know what to add. I know it’s hard for you to make a decision because you’re always so conscientous, and always try so, so hard to always do the right thing for everyone. Anouska is right – stuff doing what’s expected – do what makes you smile, as A. Doris suggested.
The last thing you want to do is work, work, work so that one day you can have all the things that are really important, and then wake up one morning and realize that you’ve missed all of those things because you’ve been working, working, working. It’s the journey – not the destination. But that’s hard for us “Type A’s” to get our heads around isn’t it? I find myself always saying “How can I stop and smell the roses when I haven’t made it to the garden yet?” – lol!!
Maybe think about your choices in the context of “is this something I really want, or something I’d be doing because I feel like I should?” Also, I think that the fact that your would-be predecessor was so dissatisfied at CHIC is a huge red flag. You usually don’t see anyone’s dirty laundry until after you take the job – you can be assured that what you’re hearing is the tip of the iceberg – proceed with caution!
I know you’ll make the right decision. I love you! xoxoxo
My dear Niece Heather –
First — GREAT WEBSITE!
Please forgive my inattention to e.mails. These have been demanding times and I don’t always to well managing my time. I manage with my heart first and pay the price burning the midnight oil. Today is a gift from the gods. A couple of hours to share with loving family.
What to do? Been there?? Done that?? You know that I started a new career at 50. 50 is a great time for a woman to move into other venues.
Making decisions comes down to the same process for me. A short prayer to the Holy Spirit, and a steno notebook. Left side are all the negative reasons for a particular choice. Right side are all the positive reasons for that choice. Most of the time the answer is clear. Then go on to the next choice and follow the same procedure.
I don’t mean to complicate matters, but at some point in your life, I see you as an “At Large” Journalist. There’s a loving cloud of good karma raining down upon you and Isseki. You are greatly loved!
XXX OOO 🙂 🙂 🙂
Hi Heather, I’m with Heidi! She’s so smart for her years. Don’t make the decision on money, consider travel time and the feel of the business (people) and yes the demands on your personal time.
Glad to hear from you. Notice my email has changed. Take care. Your in our thoughts and prayers too. Love, Jen XXOO
heidi – you always help me SO MUCH – as Jen said, you’re wiser than your years! too bad i didn’t get to really have to use the advice though 🙁 no job offer
a. claire – thanks! i think the website could use a lot of work and be WAY better but i have to focus on other things for now. you are such an inspiration with everything you have done and are doing – when i’m afraid i’m running out of time to try something new – i’ll think of you!! journalist – yeah, that would be nice…but not easy to make money with! thanks for always being there with lots of love and support – you’re a godsend to more people than just me!
jen – so good to hear from you!! you’re SO right about my sis – she’s a superstar. thanks for the great advice – hopefully i’ll get to use it again when i am offered enough to choose from (didn’t get the job offer so am having to default). i sent you an email at your old and new address – did you get either?